The Cat's Outta the Bag

Well, this cat is actually still in the bag, but you get the visual!  As I'm sure you all are well aware by now, Eric and I are expecting!  Official due date is July 8th, 2013.  Since I made it "facebook official" this week I figured  I should blog-officialize it as well. 

According to our first ultrasound, all is well with Baby F. 

Pretty cute fetus, if you ask me.  Unfortunately this lemon-sized human has not made my life very pleasant over the last 10 weeks or so.  I won't go in to all the overly-personal details but I'll say that I would pay very good money to be able to eat and eliminate like my normal self again.  And just about every pregnancy symptom you have heard rumor of, yeah, I have it.  Everyone says it gets better, I awake each day hoping I have entered the second trimester bliss that sounds like paradise, only to have to negotiate with my breakfast to stay put.  I'm trying not to complain too much, ok well, maybe a little, as I am well aware that this is a blessing and many, many women would give everything to experience this misery, erm... I mean miracle.  It's just hard to feel bad every single day when you are so  used to being pretty darn healthy.  It's one thing to understand, academically, all the amazing changes that occur during pregnancy and know all the possible symptoms.  It's quite another to actually experience them.  It's hard.  And scary.  I'm trying not to think too much about the grand finale at this point, because I know I'll feel pretty miserable then too.  But it's got to be worth it, otherwise people wouldn't choose to have more than one, right?  I hope to look back on this and say, just like every other mother I have spoken to who nods their head in sympathy "It's totally worth it". 

A Merry Little Christmas

Merry Christmas!  If you're still in the holiday spirit here is our little Christmas recap. 

We watched all our favorite Christmas movies over the course of the season which include Home Alone 1 & 2 (although realizing that the invention and accessability of cell phones has made the plot somewhat of a head-scratcher), Fred Claus, How The Grinch Stole Christmas (movie and animation), The Santa Claus series, The Polar Express, A Christmas Story (on repeat Christmas day thanks to TBS!)and even enjoyed a new one, Arthur Christmas.  Yes, I like Christmas movies.  I also enjoy all the music!  We had 3 radio stations that played round the clock holiday tunes so I rarely had a car trip without festive accompaniment.  Christmas Eve rolled around and, while I worked that day, I was thrilled to have Christmas Day off, so we got to enjoy a lovely, cozy Eve at home.  I made an AMAZING pot roast, actually probably the easiest and tastiest to date, the finished drippings are ready made gravy also! Here in the recipe  (I did not make the onions as I would have been eating them solo, also I just used dried chives in the potatoes as the fresh stuff wasn't looking too hot in the grocery), TRY IT!

Anyways, back to our holiday, It even snowed!  There is something magical about snow on Christmas eve and Christmas day.  According to our local news it has only snowed on Christmas day 12 times in the last 100 years, so we really did appreciate it!  We went to bed with visions of sugar plums (well, at least the Finnish coffee bread I made), dancing in our heads.

Christmas morning dawned with a gentle snow still falling.  Our stockings were stuffed,

Our Christmas puzzle complete,

Yes, that IS Santa with a bag full of cats

And the presents were under our tree

I got the breakfast casserole started and waited patiently for the hubby to wake up.  Then it was present time! 

Cassidy checking out her stocking

And assisting in the gift opening

Stella is a little overwhelmed

 

 A special Christmas bone

 After all the gifts were opened and awed over, we enjoyed a lazy morning and then some egg nog to get the creative juices flowing for my crudite tree

A festive way to eat your veggies!

We then spent the rest of the day surrounded by great friends and delicious food.  It was truly a wonderful Christmas.  Once again we were overwhelmed by the generous gifts from our family, we are truly blessed to have each of you in our lives, we love and appreciate every one of you, and hope to spend time together throughout the coming year.   I hope your Christmas was filled with peace, love, and joy!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Alright, I admit it, I love Christmas.  It truly is my favorite holiday and season.  Here are some things I've been loving most lately:
1.  Christmas socks.  I wear them daily from the day after Thanksgiving through New Years.  They make me happy
2.  All the decorations.  Our decorations are pretty much the same every year but I still love them, especially the lights and special family "heirlooms" that have been a part of every Christmas I can remember.
3.  Football.  This is the best part of the season, divisions are being won and the "if this team wins, and this team loses, and this team does the macarena, then this team will get a wildcard spot" really makes me chuckle.  Speaking of Football, look what my amazing Mom did for me

Ignore the weird way I'm standing and my messy living room

So dapper!

I also got Packers and Christmas themed stethascope covers!  It must have been good luck since they clinched their division today!  Go Pack Go!

4.  Cookies.  Usually every year I spend a few days in a baking frenzy making at least 4 different types of cookies to hand out to friends.  This year one of our friends had the GENIUS idea of a cookie exchange.  We each made a few dozen of our best holiday recipe then had a party and took home a half dozen of each.  It was PERFECT!  AND look at all the delicious cookies I got and only had to make one kind. 

Our lovely and genius hostess

The goods, I made the colorful ones on the left, eggnog cookies

 She even provided little baggies and labels to individually bag up each kind of cookie to take home, it was great.  So, yes, this was the Christmas win of the season so far.  I hope we make it a yearly tradition.  I still want to make a batch of my Mummu's coffee bread but I'm off the hook for more cookies. 

5.  Christmas carolers.  We have had many local singing groups come to work and sing/perform for our residents.  It really means a lot to everyone and I appreciate people giving of their time to share their talents with others, especially those who may not have many visitors this time of year.

Well that's all on the top of my list thus far, I hope to have more to share in the next week!  On a side note, I know this post sounds mighty cheery in light of the terrible tragedy that has shaken this country to its core.  I had to find something to be positive about as the never-ending news cycle has led to many tears for those all those innocent lives.  In the middle of such horror I think it is very important to remember the strength of love.  Set aside time to pray, honor those lost, and remember to love.  And maybe put on a pair of Christmas socks. 

A Day of Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!  I hope everyone enjoyed a turkey-filled, day with family and friends.  I frequently pause to be thankful for the blessings in my life, but today even more so.  Here are a few of my main reasons for Thanksgiving:

1.  My husband.  I am so very blessed to have found a partner to share this journey.  Eric is such a hard worker, loyal, and loving in every way.  We support each other 100% in life's hardships and grief as well as successes and joy.  I love you more with each day. 

2.  My family.  Though we are spread from coast to coast I love you all very much.  My Mom has become my closest confidant and Mike her perfect counterpart. My Dad's never-wavering love and support for me has contributed to the person I am more than he can know.  My brother, though we have always been very different (and he was the "perfect one") we have always been very close, he is the one I still go to for all product advise.  His cool, calm, confidence has always been a source of comfort for me.  And, of course his wonderful wife, my sister (in-law but whatever), I cherish how our relationship has grown.  My amazing parents-in-law, I'm a pretty lucky lady. I have 4 in-laws and each of them are so very wonderful, I am blessed to have been welcomed in to your family with open arms.  And, of course, my wonderful nephews.  I love you two SO much and love being your Tantie.   And all the rest, I could write a whole book identifying all of you, please know how special it feels to have such a great family to love and support you.

3.  My job.  I love being a nurse.  I find that it has become a defining part of my identity.  While my specialty wasn't my first choice I find that I love it more and more and am grateful that opportunity steered me to this.  I am so very thankful for all the wonderful nurses I work with.  They make me strive to be better on a daily basis.

4.  My home.  While we haven't yet reached our goal of home ownership I am thankful that we have a roof over our heads and have built a home over the past 5 years (even if we don't own it). 

5.  That the election is over.  It was brutal.

6.  Friends.  All our friends both old and new.  As most young adults can attest it is harder to make friends once you are out of college and move away.  After 6 1/2 years here we have a wonderful group of friends that truly feel like family.  Of course I am also grateful for the friendships that have stood up to the test of time, some over 20 years!

7.  Zofran, without which I would not have been able to enjoy the delicious dinner today.

I hope everyone had a chance to give pause and be grateful today, on this Day of Thanksgiving.   Much love from Colorado!!

Whirlwind

If I had to describe this past month in one word, "busy" first comes to mind, followed by "joyful".  I returned from a few days in IL only to work a couple days then head right back to the airport Tucson-bound for a wedding.  Within 20 minutes of arriving we were enjoying a lovely tour with our host who was describing all the wildlife we may possible run across and fun Saguaro facts.  Not 5 minutes after he said "if you get really lucky you'll see Javelinas, but I've ever only seen them once" we stop at a stop sign and I scream "JAVELINAS!"

And we watch in awe as a whole Javelina family proceed to cross the road.  Definitely a good way to begin a trip to a new place!  We had a great time visiting with my brother and sister-in-law as well as many other wonderful family friends.  The wedding was lovely and we all cleaned up real purty

After planning my own wedding I really appreciate all the hard work that goes in to planning your special day.  I love how every couple finds a way to make it unique to them.  This wedding was no exception from the carved pumpkin lanterns to the Illini themed tables

We were at Assembly Hall Table

It was a quick trip but jammed-packed full.  Oh, did I mention that apparently we saw the coolest airplane ever to exist according to those with a y-chromosome that were in attendence?

No?  Well we did, I guess it's called The Blackbird and it's really cool for reasons I can't remember. 

We headed back to CO to work a couple more days that continue our festivities.  This time it was for a couple of our dear friends that were also tieing the knot.  We headed to Blackhawk, CO for a bachelorette party weekend.  Blackhawk is kind of our mini-Vegas.  The whole tiny mountain town is devoted soley to casinos.  Not being much of a gambler I was more than happy to discover that us girls were staying at a remote cabin in the mountains for the weekend and only making the casinos a side-event.  It was really lovely to be unplugged with a bunch of wonderful women for a couple days.  No TV, no cell service, not even a land-line.  We had a radio and plenty board games and puzzles though!

And wine, we had plenty of wine...

We did go do the casino thing the next night and I learned that I am a terrible gambler.  I lost 40 dollars rather quickly and felt like vomiting.  I was WAY more excited about the fancy, delicious dinner we had.  It was a great weekend and I was thankful that since we are *ahem* a little more mature it wasn't a wild and crazy phallic-filled production.

We then, you guessed it, worked a few more days then geared up for wedding-weekend for these friends.  As I said before I really appreciate the uniqueness that couples bring to their special day.  This was no exception.  In fact, I think this was the most uniquely couple-centered wedding I have ever attended.  The bride and groom met at a concert and are very passionate music-lovers.  Neither one wanted the traditional wedding so they threw a concert instead!  At a concert venue with a great band that they knew from college.  They had a short and sweet "I Do" on stage then the music started.

It was so perfectly them and I think everyone had a great time.  Oh, and I made 11lbs of BBQ pulled pork (after their caterer backed out) that was gone in 20 minutes, so there's that. 

So today is the first Sunday morning at home I've had in over a month,  I'm looking forward to reading the paper and making some eggs.  Hopefully things will calm down for awhile.  Oh, who am I kidding, we're heading full speed in to the Holidays.  But I'm sure I'll find some time to enjoy myself along the way, after all, even though this last month has been extremely busy it has also been extremely joyful.
 

A Note on Grief

Grief is a part of life.  Period.  There is no escaping a life without heartache, in fact, a life without heartache would be half a life, in my opinion.  It is through trial, grief, and the general "tough stuff" that one's true colors tend to come through, you (hopefully) learn about yourself and grow in the process.  I see families grieve on a relatively frequent basis in my line of work and every death is different and special.  I hear (and say) all of the old stand-bys, "She's in a better place celebrating with the Lord", "He is no longer suffering", "She is at peace now",  and I say them in all sincerity.  But it doesn't change the fact that death and grief is hard.

I have experienced some really tough deaths in my short, rapidly approaching, 30 years.  I  have lost friends to tragic accidents, stood by friends as they said good-bye to parents much too soon, celebrated the 96 years my great-grandmother spent on this earth, and cried with the families of my patients as we held their hands during their last breath.  And each one is different.  I suppose that is to be expected since every relationship and circumstance is unique.  I've also learned a lot about myself and how to manage the grief as I've gotten older.

My grandpa died when I was 9 and I curled up in my parents bed and cried, then cried with my cousins at the funeral, though maybe not really understanding what it all really meant, I just knew I was sad.  I kept one of his flannel shirts nearby for a few years, as well as a ribbon from his funeral.  When I was 18 I stood by dear friends as they processed the grief of losing  a parent tragically, as well as shed many tears of my own over the incredible sadness of it and felt empathy on a deeper level.  At 19 I lost a very dear friend to a tragedy.  We gathered together as friends on many occasion to reminisce and toast our lost comrade.  But I still don't think I really processed his death in a healthy way.  It took a few years after his death but I began to realize that you must recognize and respect your grief, otherwise it will find a way to rear it's ugly head and leave you a sobbing mess, and did very often once my defenses were down after a night on the town.

As I have allowed this realization to grow I have tried to put it in to practice.  It's ok to be sad and sometimes you may not know why.  Every year in September and January I get a little melancholy and it always takes me a bit to realize it's the anniversary of a loved ones' passing.  Now I find that if I say to myself "wow, I'm still sad about that" and just sit with the sadness for awhile I feel better, the love you felt/feel deserves time to be remembered.

Unfortunately I find myself faced with grief once again after the passing of my Aunt this week.  It's especially hard being so far away.  I've been very busy since the I received the news with the events of last weekend as well as busy and long shifts at work.  Today was my last shift before heading home and I found myself feeling very agitated and uncomfortable towards the end of the work day.  No real work reason, all my patients were doing well, I had all my charting done, I was ready to go.  Then I realized that was why I was feeling anxious.  My work was almost done and that meant it was time to grieve and allow that sadness to be the main focus for the next few days. Not exactly something to look forward to, but still very necessary. It's time to grieve and process, part of the reason I felt compelled to share a very personal blog post.  I will devote the next four days to celebrating the life of my aunt, recognizing the love we shared as a family, and supporting my cousin as she says good-bye to her Mother.  And I'm going to be sad.  Probably for awhile.  And that's OK. 

GABF and other news

It has been a busy Fall so far in our neck of the woods and only getting busier as we are booked solid through Thanksgiving!  Wow how time flys when you're having fun.  Fall is my favorite season by far.  I love the scents, colors, chilly weather, and, most of all, I love the fall beers.  Pumpkin, Oktoberfest, Harvest, if it has anything to do with Fall in the title chances are I'll dig it.  In preparation for Oktoberfest some girlfriends and I participated in a stein-hoisting competition at our weekly girls-only beer club called Beer Bettys.  The winner got to advance to the semi-finals at our local Oktoberfest and continue to advance until the finals, the winner got a trip to Munich next year to attend the real Oktoberfest.  So I was pretty sure I was going to discover I had this amazing hidden talent and win us a vacation

Arm straight at 90 degrees, no leaning!

Alas, I only lasted about 2 minutes, it was hard!  The female winner last year did 20 minutes.  Oh, well, I guess I don't have a future in stein-hoisting.  We still had fun. 

This weekend we had our "Big Daddy of them all" beer weekend.  It started with Eric finally sitting for his big-wig beer expert exam called the Cicerone Level II.  It's basically a Sommolier for beer.  He's been studying for the past year and was sponsored by his employer.  So there was a little pressure.  The test was 4 hours long and included a written portion of 200 fill in the blank, short answer, and essay questions (no multiple choice there!), and then a tasting portion to identify off flavors, and specific styles.  He left the test with mixed feelings, as anyone who has taken a big licensing exam usually does.  But overall feels like he gave it his best shot and hopes he'll get good news in six weeks.  Six weeks!  I would have gone crazy if I had to wait that long to find out if I passed the NCLEX! 

While he was taking this tortuous exam I decided to have a relaxing day in Denver.  I started at civic center park near the governement building.  This made me smile.

Then headed to the Denver Art Museum.  I have never been to a museum by myself before and it was a lovely experience.  I could take my time on the stuff I enjoyed and zip through the exhibits that I didn't care for as much.  Like Modern Art.

Yep, foxes disrupting red dinner tables.  Don't get it.

I always love all the ancient artifacts and marvel at the fact that they were made so long ago, like 400 AD.  I wonder how their makers would feel about them being on display?  And just the amazing detail that is still visible.

From Pre-Columbo times, Mexico

India

 There was also a great exhibit to Native American art. 

This was actually a mask! 

Cradle Boards

Then I enjoyed a lovely lunch at the, somewhat pretentious but delicious, restaurant on site.  Then I finished up my visit to the museum by ending at my favorite exhibit, the European art.  I visited the paintings that almost feel like my old friends at this point, as I visit them each time I come here. 

Renoir

Forgot the artist but love the painting

Pissarro

Picasso

And my favorite, Monet

I left the museum feeling like I had a great time all by myself, something I think everyone should do from time to time.  I then went to pick up Eric and we prepared for Great American Beer Fest!

579 Breweries, 2,000+ beers, and lots and lots of beer-loving people.  This is the 4th or 5th year we've gone, and we have a great time.  Stand-outs include our obvious favorites like New Glarus, Russian River, Lost Abbey, and of course all our local breweries.  But we always find a new gem.  This year it so happened to be a brewery called Destihl that brews in Normal and Champaign, IL!  They had some amazing sour beers and I plan to pay them a visit when I am there next week.  We thouroughly enjoyed ourselves, as will happen when surrounded by delicious beer. 

Temporary tattoos are fun for adults too!

This is what I got when I said "Strike a pose!"

 

For anyone that is a beer lover, I highly suggest this event be added to your bucket list, come out and we'll make sure you have a great time! 

So now we wait for test results and Eric is on a beer studying break.  That about sums up our lives these past few weeks.  I hope you all are finding some fall fun as well, if you need a good pumpkin beer might I suggest the Lakefront Brewing Pumpkin Ale?