Annalise's Entrance: Our Birth Story

Warning:  This is the full account of my labor and delivery with some medically graphic photos as well

July 3rd, 1:30am: I woke up for the third or fourth time that night and was just so uncomfortable that I eventually gave up and got out of bed around 2am.  I went downstairs and bounced on my big exercise ball a bit, tried to get comfy on the couch, and paced the living room, all with no relief.  The confusing part is that I was feeling persistent low back pain and lower abdominal pain (similar to menstrual cramps), which was new.  I tried to time contractions with my hands on my abdomen but was so distracted by the back pain that it was a fruitless effort.  Finally around 3:30 I admitted that something is different, whether it is labor or not will remain  to be seen, and I called in to work for my morning shift.  Just saying the words "I think I may be in labor" out loud triggered the cascade of tears, which would happen multiple times in the next few days.  I can't decide if it was fear, pain, hormones, excitement, or a combo of it all, but it sure did bring on the waterworks.  When Eric got up for work around 4:30 I assured him that I would call if things progressed but I had no idea if this was really labor or not.  I took a bath, which provided some relief, then tried to get some more rest, which did not work out.  I finally admitted that this was definitely different but I felt extremely silly since I still could not distinguish actual, discrete, abdominal contractions (as I had imagined them), I mean, I'm a nurse for crying out loud!  I called my OB as soon as their office opened, explained my persistent discomfort, "No I can't tell how far apart my contractions are, I don't know if they are contractions and I feel stupid for saying that" as well as the growing nausea and general feelings of crappiness.  They told me to come on in to get checked out.  Again this triggers the tears as I have a mini breakdown in my bathroom, then I took a deep breath and calmly asked my Mom to please drive me to the doctor's office.

9:00am:  As we waited I had visions of getting my cervix checked and being told to head straight over to the hospital for a speedy and easy delivery.  Boy was I wrong.  As we waited I became more uncomfortable and my mom agreed that I had "that look" that this was, indeed, labor.  Again I explained what I was feeling to my OB and apologized (again) for not knowing if I was having actual, regular, true labor contractions, which, of course, they assured me was not uncommon for first time Moms ( I think they were just trying to prevent the waterworks from starting again!)  After the cervical exam I got the unbelievable news that I was still only at 3cm, the same as I had been at my most recent check up the previous week, I was more effaced though, so that was something.  My OB wanted to hook me up to a fetal monitor so that maybe I could differentiate the contractions and they could see if I was having them regularly.  I still pretty much just felt uncomfortable but at least the monitoring did show that I was having regular contractions and this was probably the real thing.  Then they proceeded to tell me that they wanted to get an ultrasound to measure amniotic fluid levels due to a few low patterns of fetal heart rate.  As we waited our turn for the ultra sound the fear continued to build and I tried to keep the tears in with little effect.  Little did I know that this would not me the first terrifying wait I would have to endure over the next 72 hours.  Luckily (this time) the ultrasound showed normal fluid levels and I was advised to go home and get some rest, eat and drink, and head in to the  hospital once things intensify. 

11:00am-7:00pm:  I labored at home with lots of counter pressure on my sacrum, warm baths, massage, heating pads and even a brief nap after taking some Tylenol.  Finally around 5 things started to feel as if they were intensifying so we get down to business with our contraction timing app (yes, there is an app for that!)  and after and hour and half I agree that things are finally changing and progressing so I call and talk to the triage nurse who tells me to head on in to the hospital!  Hooray!  Now things will REALLY get going!

7:30pm (or there abouts):  We arrived at the birthing center and got all settled in and anxiously await that next cervical check.  As the nurse completes it without announcing right away I knew, 'Still 3 cm, right?"  She confirms this fear (I mean, COME ON!) but wants to watch the baby for a few hours and then check again before sending me back home.  So meanwhile I enjoy the giant bathtub and try to get comfortable even as my low back pain is worsening and starting to actually feel more rhythmic and contraction-like.  Then the general feelings of crappiness started to worsen and I start getting that chilled, here comes a fever, feeling, but, of course, I'm in labor so temperature swings are all just part of the deal.  The nurse says she's still waiting for the baby to show some reassuring signs in her heart rate like more variability and some accelerations and the doctor agrees to go ahead and admit me and see where things go.  Hooray!  I don't have to go home, but boo to still at 3cm and possible unhappy baby.  I continued to cling to that perfect, music to my ears, baby heart rate as I became more uncomfortable and struggled to find a position that was bearable.

11:00pm-ish:  It's  pretty obvious that I'm spiking a temp, I'm up to 99.7 and we start some IV fluids and draw some labs.  I meet the OB on-call who makes the first hints at implementing some interventions to "get things going".  I am still in absolute shock that I have not dilated more (well, they gave me a half cm, but I think they were just trying to keep me from crying).  Now here is my disclaimer on my plan, I didn't have an "official" birth plan.  I am well-informed and new what I preferred, which was Pitocin as a last resort and a wait and see attitude towards pain management.  I knew that outcomes were better with fewer interventions, so that was what I was going for.  Healthy baby, healthy me was really my birth plan.  I new I would be more willing to have my water broken before jumping to the pitocin, so that was what I was ready to advocate for.

July 4th, midnight:  The OB starts asking me about being exposed to anyone sick, UTI symptoms, kidney infection symptoms (due to my low back pain, I'm assuming) then breaks the news that my white blood cell count is 30 (ten and under is normal) and my CRP (C-Reactive Protein, a generic measure for inflammation, can indicate acute and chronic inflammatory processes) is 150, normal is 10.  So something is going on, I'm sick with something, so let's hang a bag of antibiotics and see where you're at.  Let's all be shocked....Still at 3cm.  And I had no idea what I could be sick with, I mean , I'm a nurse, who knows what I could have been exposed to at work let alone the grocery store.

Approx 1:15am:  The doctor returned and sat down to have "the cesarean talk", as I got ready to defend against this he made the very valid and rational point that I obviously have some infectious process occurring and the baby is not a happy camper as evidenced by her continued lack of heart rate variability and accelerations.  He said he did not even feel comfortable breaking my water due to how she was presenting.  At this point he gave us a minute to discuss, I broke down in tears but admitted that this was the appropriate situation for a C-section, to which my husband and Mom adamently agreed with me.  After consenting to this means of birth things started to get scary.  Within minutes all three of us were being prepped for surgery with the appropriate attire, my abdomen was prepped by the nurse and the anesthesioligist came in to discuss and consent to a spinal block.  We were then wisked down the hall as my contractions were becoming pretty  horrendous and I was required to stay still as the anesthesia was inserted in to my spine, at least after that I got some pain relief!  Then the area was draped and Eric and my Mom were allowed in (after what Eric later described were the longest ten minutes of his life, waiting in the hallway).  I lay there on the table, with tears streaming down my cheeks (I finally stopped trying to hide them) as I waited for the unknown: They said there would be pressure, how much? Would it hurt? Dear God please let my daughter be alright, as I again, clung to the sound of her heart rate as if it were keeping me alive as well as her.

Within minutes, I'm talking maybe 3, the doctor asked if we had cameras ready because here she comes!
And then there she was!  Crying!  And they briefly held her over the drape so I could see that beautiful screaming, wriggling body.  I was flooded with emotions as I let out a sob of gratitude, relief, and still fear as I only caught that one fleeting glimpse of my daughter.  But now I could cling to her cries instead of those distant heart tones.

After a few moments my Mom came over and said they would probably take her to the NICU briefly because of some mild respiratory distress, I demanded to know why, what is going on, I can hear her crying, what do you mean respiratory distress?!  Again I got only a brief second glance before she was wisked away.  Luckily they allowed a family member to go with her and I just so happened to have a retired NICU respiratory therapist as a mom to oversee her transfer.  At that point, all I could do was lie there and take deep breaths as the surgical team finished up their work on me.  The next few hours are a bit of a blur as I was getting updates from Mom and Eric as they took turns between her and me.

 
They kept pushing back taking me in to see her but  I was finally wheeled in, a few hours later, hospital bed and all to get that much awaited and longed for skin to skin time with my baby girl.

Neither the trauma of the last 24 hours nor the trials we had awaiting for us over the next few days mattered at that moment, because we were together and all ok.  And we decided on her name, Annalise, meaning "Grace from God", from the Scandinavian roots of her maternal great grandmother and Vera, meaning "Faith" after her other maternal great grandmother. 

A cesarean section and a full term baby in the NICU are about as far from what I envisioned for the birth of my daughter, but then, who really does dream of that scenario?  I feel no regrets about the decisions made that night, nor do I feel angry or as if I was robbed of a the ideal birth.  I know that the doctors would not have moved as fast as they did without true concerns and I will be forever grateful that they acted accordingly.  Healthy Mom and Healthy (Well, almost) Baby, the ultimate, perfect, outcome.

 The next week continued with it's challenges and more bathroom breakdowns, but that is for a different post. 

Introducing.....

Annalise Vera!!! 

7lbs on the dot and 20 inches long, born on the 4th of July!!  She'll probably think all birthdays are celebrated with fireworks, parades, and cookouts for the first few years but at least she'll always have a celebration. 

Her arrival was less than...smooth, shall we say.  While I was never going to write a birthplan (fir this reason specifically!) I definitely was well-informed and had opinions on how I wanted this experience to go.  But, as I was reminded by many of the nurses I encountred, us nurses often fall victim to "The Nurse Curse" when it comes to having our own babies.  I'd say I got a full dose of that sucker!  I do really want to share my story as I think is important to debrief these big events in our life, even the tough stuff.  However, I'm going to  let those darn birth hormones level out a bit as I find even looking at the photos and remembering the details to be extremely emotional.  So, give me a few days but I promise I have a lot to say!  The most important detail of the story is that we are both safe, home, and adjusting to our new, wonderful, terrifying, amazing life.  I am already so overwhelmed with gratitude and amazement that I get to be this little girl's Mommy.

 

All my Bags Are Packed...

I'm ready to go

I'm, well, the rest of the song doesn't really apply!  But we are all ready!  Car seats installed, diapers purchased, clothes laundered, place to sleep at the ready.  My mom and step dad are also here, so now, we just wait.  While we are waiting I am trying to enjoy myself and the last few days before our lives change forever.  We had a lovely picnic at the Resevoir yesterday

39 weeks.  Does this hat make me look fat?

And have slowly begun the daunting task of packing all the non-essentials.  I have to admit I got a little nostalgic when we pulled everything of the walls, I mean, this has been our home for 5 1/2 years!  But, on to bigger and better things I suppose.  I have two more shifts left and then will be officially on maternity leave.  We'll see if I make it through, things are already effacing and dilating so I would not be sad if I had to miss those last two shifts.  I the meantime I'm trying to stay calm and get lots of rest (easier said than done at times) and dream of what this little girl will be like!  Let the baby-watch commence

Getting Closer

Well here I am at 36 1/2 weeks, that means my due date is 3 1/2 weeks away, how did this happen so fast?! 

I feel like I am getting bigger by the day, and I suppose it is possible that I am!  Physical therapy has helped my back pain tremendously and I have learned many useful stretches and exercises that I can employ when at work and probably even during labor.   If you watched any of the Summer Olympics you probably noticed the weird tape a lot of the athletes had on various parts of their body (particularly the divers).  This is called kinesiotape and I now have quite the bright blue tape pattern on my lower back.  I approached it with caution as there aren't many scientific studies that back its effectiveness, but it does seem to make a difference, so I'm going with it.  I also got a big exercise ball and am wishing I would have gotten one much sooner, they are WONDERFUL and also will probably be useful to bounce a crying baby to sleep as well as stretch out my poor, tired back.  The other wonderful thing about PT is that they do deep tissue work, hey my co-pay is cheaper than a massage and they really get in there, which is what I needed.  So, if you ever
 find yourself pregnant and uncomfortable, ask for a referral!. 

Let's see, other pregnancy news...It's starting to get hot here and my fingers are responding in protest, I've managed to keep my wedding ring on this long but these last few weeks may result in naked fingers.  I'm proud (as is Eric) to say that I really haven't had the stereotypical mood swings associated with pregnancy.  Until last night that is!  I had just finished 3 shifts in a row (which is my max these days), it was almost 100 degrees, I was uncomfortable, and just finished reading the labor and delivery chapter of one of my books.  I sat down at the dining room table as Eric was getting dinner ready and just burst in to tears, while at the same time laughing at myself for crying.  We got through it but I know that the next month is bound to be an emotional rollercoaster. 

We completed the obligatory childbirth prep classes over the weekend (I opted for the "fast track" rather than a 6-week course), while there wasn't much new information for me I'm glad we went as I'm sure most of it was new to Eric.  I kind of take for granted that I just know all of these things and forget that his knowledge of childbirth and pregnancy is pretty limited.  I know he'll be a great support person though.  I'm starting to pack "the bag" and be as prepared as one can be.  All the unknowns at this point are getting to me a little, I'd REALLY like to know how this will all pan out, it's the worst exercise in giving up control (which I may have a slight issue with)  There have still been some positives though.

I had my local baby baby shower!

Eric got to help with the presents

Not everyone, but a good sampling!

The two lovely hostesses

It was great fun and I'm so very thankful to have such wonderful friends I can count on, especially since our families are so far away. 

Last big news...We're under contract on a house!  Yes, yes, I know this sounds like the worst possible time to be buying a house, and we really had decided that we were just going to start looking and not buy anything until the Fall.  Well, the stars kind of aligned on the "perfect" house for us (rather than just the "Starter house") under very ideal circumstances.  We won't close until the end of July so there will be no racing the baby.  And overall the process has gone relatively smooth.  Lots of paperwork, but really smooth.  The last big thing is the appraisal before the end of June then all will be taken care of and we just cruise through July and wait to close!  I am still in somewhat denial that this is all happening for us.  I feel like all our major dreams are coming true at the same time and I'm just so very blessed, I'm trying not to let the pessimist out and expect something to go wrong. 

 So now we just wait!  I'm still working, though every shift is a gamble at this point, at least I'm surrounded by nurses in case something happens while I'm there.  We have a few baby items left to pick up but really are mostly ready with all the little onesies washed and put away, the car seat installed (in one car anyway!), and the co-sleeper ready to pop up at a moments notice.  Prayers would be appreciated that all continues to go smoothly!

The Merry, Merry Month of May

Wow, is it just me or does time move exponentially faster when you are pregnant?  Of course I didn't feel that way the first half when I was bargaining with all food intake to stay put!  But, really, here we are at the end of the month with 5 1/2 weeks left to go.  It has been a pretty great month all in all.  After my lovely visit to IL I came home and was accompanied by my Mom who spent another glorious 2 weeks with me.  She was really a God-send, and helped reign in my pregnancy brain and got things situated in our house so, if our little one decides to make an early entrance, we are ready with the essentials!  First things first though. 

At the beginning of the month I hit the big 3-0.  If you would have asked me a couple years ago I would have admitted that I was dreading this milestone, but now, I had not a single problem with it.  I realized that I definitely wouldn't want to go be 20 again and that my life is pretty great.  I am more confident in who I am, I have a career that I love, an amazing husband and life partner, and an expanding waistline that is actually not from too much pizza and beer!  I really couldn't ask for anything more!  We celebrated the event with a Mexican-themed dinner with a few friends.

Make your own Quesadilla or Fajitas!

Nothing like having your Mom in your kitchen to make you feel like all is right with the world

 We, funnily enough, all ended up watching the Movie Titanic through to the end for some odd reason, but it was kind of fun to see again.  Then of course, there was dessert.  I'm drooling just remembering!  Mom made a cheesecake and a friend of mine is a cupcake connoisseur and always brings delicious treats!

 I have the greatest friends, since we usually get each other nice bottles of wine or specialty beers and that was obviously off the table, they found  a creative replacement in pints of all different chocolate varieties from the best local ice cream shop.  Best gift for a pregnant person EVER!

 It really was a special birthday, even if I didn't get the crazy 30th birthday bash, priorities they are a-changin'. 

The best thing my Mom did for me during her visit was to help rearrange some things and get our spare bedroom ready to double as nursery.  She painted two of the walls a lovely lavender to cover the aweful blue sponge painting that was there before and made adorable curtains for the windows and the closet to replace doors that were less than functional.  Now I really like the room!

Of course pictures don't do the color justice, but this gives an idea.  We also kept Eric busy during this visit putting together furniture and baby accessories.  He is getting to be quite the pro, good practice for the many years of "some assembly required" ahead of us

Although we have had to keep all baby things shut away in her room since the cat thinks they are all very special beds for her!

We wrapped up Mom's time here with a special Mother's Day painting class.  Guided painting and wine studios are popping up all over the place here and they are a really good time (same principle as the owl paintings we did  a few months ago) and suitable for all abilities.  Since my Mom is kind of awesome when it comes to art projects she did her own thing as I followed the directions.

But she also helped me out along the way, which is why mine turned out so good!  Here are the finished masterpieces!

It was a special day indeed!  We were sad to see Mom leave, but I'm sure she was ready to get back home to retired life so she could relax after all the hard work she did for us, we love and appreciate you!!

The rest of the month we have just been truckin' along.  I am getting more and more uncomfortable and am actually going to see a PT for some back pain next week.  Work is busy and getting more difficult but I am determined to work as long as possible so I can save my leave for when the baby is actually on the outside.  My doctor gave me the "well we'll see how that goes for you" response, but I have a tendency towards stubbornness so we will just have to see!  Everything is progressing without complications at this point and, really, 5 1/2 weeks is not long at all!  It is also reassuring that if she does decide to make an early appearance she will, most likely, be perfectly fine.  I would prefer her to stay put though until  she is properly "cooked", even though she is making daily activities like standing up from a seated position more a more difficult!  Take your time, little one, we've got a lifetime of loving you ahead of us! 

Showered with Love

Whew!  What a whirlwind the last few weeks have been.  So very many wonderful things have happened it will take me a few posts to update for sure!  To start the festivities my family, spread coast to coast, was able to convene in the same place, at the same time, for a miraculous "perfect storm" of family love.  It was wonderful to be all together and not missing anyone, well, except my poor husband who has limited vacation.  During our reunion I was blessed to have not one, but two baby showers!  The first took place in my hometown and hosted by a dear, dear friend.

It was so wonderful to share this event with many other friends who have been a part of my life for a long, long time

I received many wonderful and thoughtful baby gifts, including some very fancy sparkle shoes, which are a necesity for any girl.

And, of course, the most important part of any baby shower, the cake!

Oh boy (or girl, rather!) this cake was both delicious AND beautiful!!

During the rest of the time we spent in our hometown we enjoyed visiting family,

4 generations

and eating at all my local favorites that I have been craving during the past 7 months!  No worrying about not gaining enough weight during this week! Oh, it was glorious.  After a too short visit we headed north to complete our "reunion" with the rest of the family.  I had another beautiful shower hosted by my Tantie (aunt) and her daughter.  This was wonderful because almost all of Eric's family were able to attend along with my family.  Again, the food was the highlight for me!

I mean, "Come on!"

Made by my talented cousin, Kaylee

No baby shower would be complete without some games.  The most creative of the weekend was entitled "Kim, Kate, Or Cath"  (referring to Kim Kardashian and Kate Middleton, who also happen to be expecting in July)  A statement was read and the game was to decide who it applied to, very funny and creative!

And, of course many other wonderful and generous gifts

Including her first Packers attire!

I'm so lucky to be part of such a great family, both blood and aquired through marriage!

It is such a rare opportuntity to spend more than a few hours or night with this side of the family, we really enjoyed ourselves.  Discovering that genetics is often humorous,

how wonderful Tanties are to play with,

And that no matter how long it has been since you've seen your cousins (or even that you have no recollection of meeting them before!) it's a special relationship that can be picked up where you left off

Most importantly, my belief that my life and lap is happiest when filled with nephews, was reinforced

There's plenty of room to add their cousin!

Play Ball

Ah, baseball season, nice to see you again!

 Even though it wasn't opening day, it was at least opening weekend.  Rooting for the home team has been something we have enjoyed since moving out here almost 7 years ago.  Tickets are affordable for all.  Even after the Rockies went to the World Series in '08 (I think) you could still get "rock pile" tickets (center field bleachers) for 4 bucks.  So, yeah, very accessible, I like that. 

We stopped at the Sandlot Brewery which is inside the stadium and is the original birthplace of Blue Moon.  I had a water.  Then off to our seats

27 weeks

These seats were a little better than rock pile thanks to Eric's boss, although we were 5 rows away from the hoity toity seats that get free cookies (jerks).  So I had to make up for it by enjoying my own ballpark fare.  I was excited about a hotdog all day so I, of course, had to start with that (yeah, yeah nitrates and pregnancy, blah, blah, it was one hotdog, chill.) Then I discovered the most amazing (and fancy) ballpark food...

The chocolate covered fruit kabob.  Totally overpriced, but, hey, I can only use the pregnancy excuse for a few more months right?  I then rounded out my baseball dinner with an ice cream cone.  And it was glorious.  Oh, and the Rockies won so over all I would say our first baseball outing of the season was a definite success!  Looking forward to a great baseball season to tide us over until football starts again!

On a side note, It was in the 60s the day before yesterday and it was 9 this morning.  Colorado weather is throwing a tantrum that I am not a fan of.  Be Spring already!!